i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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