How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
