she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
