It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
