it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
