just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
