One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
