Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
She's the barista slut.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
How external is "for external use only"?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
