too bad you live with your parents still
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I don't deserve a penis
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
