is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
