that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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