I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
