i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
