I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
