Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
