make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
