i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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