New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
