I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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