Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
