the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
