Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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