She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
