Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
