They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I look better un-naked...
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Randomize
