it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
