Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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