dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
i believe in u and ur pee
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
