There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
