He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he shaved USA in his pubs
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
