so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
