I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Oh god it's open bar.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Dear god my vagina.
PANTIES FOUND
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
