seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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