just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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