is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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