I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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