oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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