Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
