When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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