Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
