Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
ttyl tear gas
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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