i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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