Small penises have feelings too.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
