it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i love accidental penises.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
