Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize
