I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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