shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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