i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
