OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
