is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
